The Real Argus

Me: Hello, Argus.

Argus: Yo.

Me: How are things going with you?

Argus: Explorin' the city of Khelemak. Pretty great place. Glad big bro took me here.

Me: Oh, cool. It was kinda neat when Hamajus squeezed your butt. I'm a fan of yours, by the way.

Argus: *Blushes* Ahem. You've... Heard about that, huh?

Me: *Nods.* *Cough* Wish I. *Cough* Could've. *Cough* Done that.

Argus: Say again?

Me: I said.. *ahem* I wish I could've done that.

Argus: Ya mean squeezin' my big round ass?

Me: *nods* And... playing with it.

Argus: *Ponders a bit* Hm... Well, since no one's around and Spikes at home, maybe I can allow you to play with my ass just this once.

Me: Okay. *Starts to rub her ass*

Argus: Ya like that, huh? How does she feel?
Me: She feels soft! *Rubs it some more*

Argus: Yeah, I took well care of her. *Slaps her butt making it jiggle*

Me: *Rubs her jiggling ass* You call it a she?

Argus: Is that a problem to ya?
Me: Not at all. I was just curious.

Me: *Was playing with her ass* Not at all. I was just curious.

Argus: All right then. Hey, I'm hungry. Mind wippin' me up some grub?

Me: Will do, Ms. Argus! *Goes over to make some food for her.*

Minutes later...

Me: *Walks towards Argus with five chocolate-cheese taco pies* Bon appetit!

Argus: AH, just like Spike used to make. Thanks hon.

Me: You're welcome! Eat up! *Hands the taco pies to Argus*

Argus: *Begins eating and mouth full* On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd rate this as an 8.5 out of 10.

Me: 8.5? That's fair. Wasn't aiming for higher, anyway.

Argus: Glad ya think so. *Continues eating*

Me: *Watches her eat, staring at her ass as she does*

*Argus's belly starts to grow*

Me: *Quickly notices it* WHOA! Just like in that deviation 'Your Loss!', or in other of Nyxen's deviations like this!

Argus: Ah, 4th wall breaker, eh? Like that Deapool chump.

Me: You know Deadpool?

Argus: Yeah. Watched the flick as it came out. Funny shit, man.

Me: Ah. *Resumes rubbing Argus' butt* I bet Acauldrus' is soft, too.

Argus: My cos, Arnus said so. She had put on a few from eatin' em humie's.

Me: Wow. I'd love to meet her. *Continues to rub*

Argus: Yeah, that's what the last guy said.

Me: Last guy?

Argus: Yeah, I'd rather not get inta detail, but he became apart of sis.

Me: I see. Might have to keep my wits about me, should I encounter her.

Argus: Yeah, that'd be best.

Me: May I give your ass a bounce?

Argus: Huh, never her that phrase before. What's bounce?
Me: Bounce is when something goes up and then down, then back up again, and so on. Let me show you.*Decides to show her what I mean by lifting up her big round ass and letting go of it to make it bounce up and down.*

Argus: You know I heard of somethin' like this. It's starts with a T. Twerking is it? Is it like that but you move the ass?

Me: Yes, yes.

Argus: Ya think ya can handle this? *Grabs her ass and drops it, making all around her jiggle*

Me: I don't know. Can I?

Argus: Only 1 way ta find out.

*Me and Argus were laying in bed*

Argus: Damn, you're a better lover than my boyfriend.

Me: You think so, Argus?
Argus: Yeah, you where all right, champ.

Me: Champ? Heh. I like the sound of that~ *Grabs Argus' plump asscheek.*

Argus: Woo! Easier there, champ. The old girl needs a little rest.

Me: Gotcha~ *Gives that asscheek a little rub before massaging her thick, plump thighs*

Argus: That's more like it. Thanks hon.

Me: Damn, your thighs~ Your booty~

Argus: They're otherworldly to ya, aren't they?

Me: *Nods* And soft too. *Lifts up her ass and drops it to make it bounce up and down.* BOING~

Argus: Ey, easy. The old gal's still sore.

Me: Oh. Forgot about the 'no grabbing, no bouncing' thing. *Goes back to rubbing*

Argus: Aw yeah, that's the ticket. Thanks hon.

Me: *Keeps rubbing* I got a question: Have you ever shook that ass for Spike?

Argus: What makes ya think I haven't?

Me: Oh~ *Continues to massage and rub her booty and thighs*

Argus: You a real ass masseuse, champ. An Ass-sseuse, huh?

Me: Yeah, ass-sseuse. I like the sound of that.
Argus: Likin' these names for ya?

Me: *Nods* I'm really enjoying my time with you, Argus.

Argus: Same here, hon. Same here.